The CSF WireOfficial organ of the Chicago Sports Fans FFL
The 2026 field as it stands, with each owner's permanent record attached. The blurbs are not editorializing. They are citations.
Best game-day coach in the league by a margin that isn't a margin — he earned his roster more than three times the points of any other manager. Won Week 13 with Jerry Jeudy and 43 points rotting on his bench. The trophy has been unsupervised at his house since 2024 and nobody has independently verified it's still there.
Built the best roster anybody has built in this league, then spent four months proving its most dangerous opponent was the guy who owned it. Ladd McConkey averaged 18.4 on his bench and 8.6 in his lineup. The kid was measurably better when James wasn't paying attention.
Reached the championship game at 9-8, which is less a playoff run than a clerical error nobody caught in time. Posted the highest score in league history in Week 14 and also won a game 68.4 to 46.6. Has explained neither and is not going to.
Three studs and a landfill. Week 15, elimination on the line, he looked at Baker Mayfield, looked at Matthew Stafford, and chose violence against himself. Stafford put up 7.8. Season over, killed by his own hand, on purpose, with a mouse.
Worst game-day coach in the league at −96.5, roughly six times worse than average. Benched Patrick Mahomes in Week 8. Benched him again in Week 9. Two owners, one lineup, zero learning. Back together in 2026, which is either loyalty or a hostage situation.
Tyreek Hill, Travis Etienne and Davante Adams — the worst opening trio in the league by a country mile, three men who each had their best year while Ricky was in high school. Set exactly one perfect lineup all season and lost that week 180.5 to 98.6.
Nate spent years co-owning Raiders of the Lost Yards and has decided he'd rather lose on his own terms. Named the franchise after a seventh-round Bears running back, which is either the most Chicago thing anyone in this league has ever done or a quiet cry for help. Possibly both.
Open. Claim it or recruit it. Whoever takes it inherits no history, no grudges and no excuses, which around here counts as a competitive advantage.
Open. Claim it or recruit it. Whoever takes it inherits no history, no grudges and no excuses, which around here counts as a competitive advantage.
Open. Ten is the floor. Whoever takes it inherits no history, no grudges and no excuses, which around here counts as a competitive advantage.
| # | Team | Record | The Verdict |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | My VJJ drips SweatJay Flores | 11-6 | Champion. Best coach in the league. Insufferable about it since 2024. |
| 2 | Raiders of the Lost YardsArmando & Nate Martinez | 9-8 | Set the scoring record and still got run out of the building in the final. |
| 3 | Moose KnucklesJames Schwertfeger | 11-4 | Best team in the league. Lost to his own notification settings. |
| 4 | Fantasy Football GodsUnowned | 8-8 | An autodraft team with nobody in the chair. Franchise retired for 2026. |
| 5 | Saquan My BallsGabriel Ortiz | 8-7 | Three studs and a landfill. Started Stafford when it mattered. Goodnight. |
| 6 | M and MMatthew Myers | 8-7 | Went 5-1 mid-season, then remembered who he was. Not returning in 2026. |
| 7 | SweetcheecksRoy Martinez | 7-8 | 180.5 one week, 53.6 in the playoffs. Not returning in 2026. |
| 8 | Tru DatJoe O & Maggie Martinez | 7-8 | Worst coaching in the league. Benched Mahomes. Twice. On purpose. |
| 9 | Raging CajunsMarc Sylvie | 5-10 | Lost five straight, then lost by 114 combined to one guy. Not returning. |
| 10 | Joe Buck YourselfRicky Rosario | 4-12 | Worst draft, worst record, and a Toilet Bowl loss to finish it off. |